Sunday, January 29, 2017

Revelations & the Aug 2016 RFLofSL Wrap Ceremony

Disclaimer: When I post about negative experiences it is rarely if ever out of any smug satisfaction.  There are no winners.  It is a "buyer beware" as I stumble through the metaverse.  This post definitely serves this purpose.  You have an opportunity to learn from any mistakes I've made and spot warning signs in advance.  Those who know these people and find me relating a story: take it for what it is; there's no glory in it for me. I am sure to lose several from my contact list.  I always blog with the expectation that someone is going to find out, whether there are tattlers or not. This is The Internet.  Just keep in mind that my opinions may not be that of the Hearts & Souls Relay For Life team, and that taking anything out on the team or creating difficulties getting the team resources or preventing them from representation or fundraising is an attack on innocent people - both from the team and American Cancer Society - who have nothing to do with this post

Feedback form

1. If anything, what could be done to improve any of the special events? IE: Paint SL Purple, Kick off, Halfway There, Wrap up.

Whoever thought it was cool to hold Halfway There opening ceremony in one sim didn't have the Relayers' best interest. Also so many committee no-shows  didn't look very good.

2. What is your most positive take away from our Relay season this year?
Less lag on Relay Weekend.

3. What was your most negative experience in this Relay season. (if applicable)

complete disregard of last year's feedback, a gluttonous & nepotistic committee lineup, double standard rules re events on the track like privileged big shots re T1 events and Fight Back ceremonies. Bitching over the cost of track sims which were sponsored anyway, then having a surplus of filler parcels while we lacked a sim in the activities regions.

4. What suggestions can you offer for improving our Relay season?

Stop treating Relayers like employees when you should be [acting] on our behalf. We are ALL volunteers, many with limited abilities and income from our fights with cancer. How much more disrespectful can you be? It's as if you're being pushed because YOU have some sort of political or material thing on the line.  Each and every relayer is a valuable asset regardless of what they are able to do as long as they do something.

5. What was your favorite part of Relay Weekend?

Less lag. Also Sue and Grace were very kind and eager to help. Nevar and Kammie were very nice too.

6. What if anything could be done to improve your experience at Relay Weekend?

Move media row off the track and make them a wing of the activity area. Then they can hold all the events they want without impacting the track.

7. If anything, what could be done to improve the ceremonies? IE: Fight Back, Luminaria ceremony

Move them back OFF the Track. Whoever thought it was okay to move Fight Back to the track, and during the Relay no less - again no respect for the Relayer, and Relay weekend is all about celebrating the Relayer.  You forgot.

8. If anything, what could be done to improve the awards presented Relay weekend?

We havent seen our fundraising awards yet. How about that?  Was a time we could display those at the campsites. Tonight it's 2 weeks since Relay.

3 weeks later we got them after I contacted a committee member. 
Thinking Aloud Feedback: one copy-trans version, one copy-mod version (the captain gets a special one?)
Antipathic hipocritical dumbass did not make the copy-trans one phantom.
Most teams did not receive a trophy.

9. Additional suggestions or comments

  1. Remember that wake up call in January? Remember 2-3 years ago how much better the totals were?  It wasnt about us, so stop treating us like we failed you. It's the other way around and you drove some heavy hitters away last year. 
  2. Purge the committee & go back to objective members who are not with teams.
  3. If anyone is unable to fulfill their role then they must step aside and let someone else take it over. This isnt a status thing it's a responsibility thing. They need to get their priorities straight.


A World of Hope

They announced during the wrap up ceremony that it would be...

Passport to Hope


RFL of SL's Red-headed Stepchild Group

For 2016 I just wanted to be aware of official events and sign ups. As an alternative to the Volunteers Group for socializing, networking & massive advertising traffic, there was the Info-Only Group.

In addition to the purpose mentioned its group chat was utilized for live text transcription during ceremonies and Relay Rap radio programs.

It became evident that the committee neglected this group except when it came time for a live transcript.  I got on them in the Captains group for not having known of upcoming changes of Rap times and audience locations. They initially indicated that it wasn't what the group was for until I mentioned that certainly its chat was good enough for closed-captioning that someone can find in themselves to remember to post about a committee radio show.

They spent the rest of the year stumbling over attempts at inclusion. This was a recurring discussion in the Captains Group chat as the committee time and again failed me (and subsequently my teammates) and anyone else utilizing info-only.

It was as though you were nothing if you didn't belong to the clique social group.  So why make info-only? To look responsible then walk away?

It became evident yet again, when during the wrap-up ceremony, content added to the website was not shared with Info-Only members.

Transcript from audio:
[10:11]  Little Miss Waffle: Random [Darrow]: Thank you to Saffia Widdershins, Cinders Vale, Zander Greene, Elrik Merlin, Eclair Martinek, Lukeflywalker Fittinger for doing our track side interviews this year.  Keep watch on our youtube channel for those interviews and our ceremonies to be posted.    I would also like to thank Jara Lowell for doing some great videos of our Relay weekend.  Jara does these every year without us even asking!

Wrap ceremony chat logs sans gestures:
[2016/08/14 10:12]  Holocluck Henly: I guess that was missing from the captain and info group notices? best kept secret those videos?
[2016/08/14 10:12]  Rowena Dubrovna: YAY KAMMIE!!
[2016/08/14 10:12]  TS (TS Darrow): Website  holo
[2016/08/14 10:12]  TS (TS Darrow): seek and u shall find
[2016/08/14 10:12]  Tony Wycliffe-Mousir (AnthonyMousir): i saw notices
[2016/08/14 10:13]  Arizona Ballinger-Whiplash (Arizona Ballinger): itison the website and was sent out a few times Holocluck
[2016/08/14 10:13]  Holocluck Henly: Depends on which group
[2016/08/14 10:13]  Arizona Ballinger-Whiplash (Arizona Ballinger): the website is open to group needed
[2016/08/14 10:13]  Rowena Dubrovna: Also weren't they posted on FB too? Pretty sure
[2016/08/14 10:14]  Holocluck Henly: FB likes to hide youtube links. it's really a pain. ty Row I'll look there
[2016/08/14 10:14]  Rowena Dubrovna: I thiiiinnkkk they were Holo- but def on the

Because everyone visits each day for 7 months to seek out any changes made in every nook and cranny of a website?  Of course they don't!  'Because they were put up' is a snotty excuse.

I re-added my block on TS after the two lines - something I forgot to do after Relay Weekend (as a captain some things are a necessary evil.  In fact for those two days I also belonged to the main volunteer group to promote our Lap hour, then dropped back off).

It was shortly after this at 10:22 I received an IM from a complete stranger:

"I have seen you make such negative comments in group chat all year, why are you so miserable?"

They went on to make desparaging remarks regarding my cancer, including details of the surgery from one year prior.

I kid you not.

Like many people in SL I hold my personal cards very close.  Among my dearest friends in Second Life I may not know real names or the exact details of one's cancer or treatments.  Others I may know everything.  It's their perogative and their right to volunteer what they feel comfortable with for the support they seek.

I'm no different. As much as I share, you know very little. That's the way I like it. I have a persona and those few times I break the wall and admit to not being a sentient projection are mine to choose. On the Internet one's privacy means one's safety.

I shared those details with less people in SL than fingers on one hand.

A Committee Member's Alt?

Who was the person? Did I know them? I never saw their name before. 

After submitting an AR with logs and profiles I looked further into it. 

- They left quickly and were not on radar when I checked. Someone logged into the account to IM me then left.

- What they said strongly suggests they belonged to the Captains / Co-Captains group and had been on hand time and again when I expressed the lack of informing members on Info-Only.   There were no captains, co-captains or volunteers listed on any team's roster by that name. Ditto in the Captains or Info-Only groups.

- The only indication of this avatar was a "Why I Relay" image in photog Catalina's collection.  It was a garden variety overbulked male avatar, the sort which defied my many years of figure drawing and anatomy training.

Conclusion: It was an alt. But whose?

- If it wasn't a captain or co-captain then only committee members could have seen my group chats.

- I had blocked TS Darrow by then. Could it have been his alt? He's not the sharpest blade in the drawer.

- How did they know?  That one I could have an answer for...

Flashback to 2015.

I had been diagnosed and needed assistance. I let in an SL friend who was on the committee and not far away in RL. We spoke on the phone a couple of times. Following surgery she was in a special skype text group for updates with a couple of other friends. Not 2 days into recovery she made a rather demoralizing outburst. She was off Skype contacts so fast. This person - who saw herself as Queen Caregiver - had many opportunities to make an apology for her behavior and was obviously satisfied with it. Some champion of the cause...

- This former friend was also a member of Harmony of Hope.  99.9% she was the one who disclosed details of my cancer to the others (that too was mentioned in the AR). 99.9% certain this was not one of her alts as the remarks betrayed a special ignorance.

But bottom line is she was the only one in the RFL community who could have abused my trust. I sure made a slip in judgement letting that one in.  What a shame.

Linden Lab - if they did anything at all - cannot share with me any actions they may have taken.  For all I know they took no actions.  But there's plenty on file including several profiles. At the time they could glance and compare IP addresses. 

Because nobody is anonymous in Second Life.

Second Life is very clear about privacy, and privacy used as a weapon on their grid:

Second Life Terms of Service


6.1 You will not post or transmit prohibited Content, including any Content that is illegal, harassing or violates any person's rights.

You agree that you will not:

(iv) Post, display, or transmit Content (including any communication(s) with employees of Linden Lab) that is harmful, threatening or harassing, defamatory, libelous, false, inaccurate, misleading, or invades another person's privacy...

Second Life Community Standards

Residents are entitled to a reasonable level of privacy with regard to their Second Life experience. Sharing personal information about your fellow Residents without their consent -- including gender, religion, age, marital status, race, sexual preference, alternate account names, and real-world location beyond what is provided by them in their Resident profile -- is not allowed. Remotely monitoring conversations in Second Life, posting conversation logs, or sharing conversation logs without the participants' consent are all prohibited.

Policies & Policing
While Residents may choose to play Second Life with more than one account, specifically or consistently using an alternate account to harass other Residents or violate the Community Standards is not acceptable. Alternate accounts are generally treated as separate from a Resident's principal account, but misuse of alternate accounts can and will result in disciplinary action on the principal account.

(This includes using an alt to get around a block or to anonymously fling threats. Taking a chat to Skype for the purpose of disclosing a resident's identity or any of their personal details could still count as a violation)

As for a committee member cancer shaming via an alt:  Why should it come as any surprise?  Look at what I've documented since 2014.  Ditto someone earning trust then violating someone's rights. They've all been down a long dark road for so long they wouldn't know how to redeem themselves.

Today is the first Relay Rap of 2017 in anticipation of registration month.  Let's see whether they've learned anything.  Prepare to be nonplussed.

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